THM

My thoughts are wild at night. This is where I let them wander.

Librocubicularist / Lone wolf
This is me.
This is me hiding in a corner most of the time, quiet, reserved, physically present but mentally somewhere else, never making eye contact to anyone, this is me doing the same thing over and over again, tucking myself inside a safety cocoon.
This is me, messy, wild and constantly looking for love that’s never within my reach.
This is me trying my best to go beyond my comfort zone but always ending up in the same place anyway.
This is me proving my worth to everyone, only to find out how numerous my faults are.
This is me growing up, trying everyday to figure out what would be the right thing to do. Yes, I decide and do what is right but that doesn’t mean I stop doing what is wrong.
This is me, full of flaws, lost in the dark, living in shame, wasting away. This is me, this is what’s most of me. But it comes to my mind too, that all of these things, is what makes me who I am now.
The ugly and the worthless side of me, make me even more than just a person who has a bad side. I guess you can’t really see a person’s beauty when you don’t know what is ugly. You can’t just tell how dirty a person’s heart is if you’ve never known the story behind it or if you’ve never known what comprises a pure heart.
I don’t know if I’m making a point really, it’s just that if I didn’t embrace that side of me, I wouldn’t be so much better now, I wouldn’t be able to tell any difference in me, I wouldn’t be able to choose wisely now. I guess accepting the real part of me made me not blind anymore, it made the numbness start to fade again. It made the feelings come rushing back especially the good ones. 
It knocked me off my feet thinking that even if I am a person made of dark secrets, even if pain is buried deep in me, even if I have tons of wild and dangerous thoughts every second of everyday, I can still be of worth. We can still be worthy of something, of anything. You and me still deserve to receive a love that’s so faithful and true. 
And that we can all be beautiful even if we’re just a silhouette from a breathtaking sunset. 

This is me.

This is me hiding in a corner most of the time, quiet, reserved, physically present but mentally somewhere else, never making eye contact to anyone, this is me doing the same thing over and over again, tucking myself inside a safety cocoon.

This is me, messy, wild and constantly looking for love that’s never within my reach.

This is me trying my best to go beyond my comfort zone but always ending up in the same place anyway.

This is me proving my worth to everyone, only to find out how numerous my faults are.

This is me growing up, trying everyday to figure out what would be the right thing to do. Yes, I decide and do what is right but that doesn’t mean I stop doing what is wrong.

This is me, full of flaws, lost in the dark, living in shame, wasting away. This is me, this is what’s most of me. But it comes to my mind too, that all of these things, is what makes me who I am now.

The ugly and the worthless side of me, make me even more than just a person who has a bad side. I guess you can’t really see a person’s beauty when you don’t know what is ugly. You can’t just tell how dirty a person’s heart is if you’ve never known the story behind it or if you’ve never known what comprises a pure heart.

I don’t know if I’m making a point really, it’s just that if I didn’t embrace that side of me, I wouldn’t be so much better now, I wouldn’t be able to tell any difference in me, I wouldn’t be able to choose wisely now. I guess accepting the real part of me made me not blind anymore, it made the numbness start to fade again. It made the feelings come rushing back especially the good ones. 

It knocked me off my feet thinking that even if I am a person made of dark secrets, even if pain is buried deep in me, even if I have tons of wild and dangerous thoughts every second of everyday, I can still be of worth. We can still be worthy of something, of anything. You and me still deserve to receive a love that’s so faithful and true.

And that we can all be beautiful even if we’re just a silhouette from a breathtaking sunset

I wonder why I don’t go to bed and go to sleep. But then it would be tomorrow, so I decide I can skip an hour more of sleep and live.
Sylvia Plath
Lost or Alone? Ambrose said alone, and Fern responded, “I would much rather be lost with you than alone without you, so I choose lost with a caveat.” Ambrose responded, “No caveats,” to which Fern replied, “Then lost, because alone feels permanent, and lost can be found.”

Nobody or Nowhere?

Fern: I’d rather be nobody at home than somebody somewhere else.

Ambrose: I’d rather be nowhere. Being nobody when you’re expected to be somebody gets old.

Fern: How would you know? Have you been nobody?

Ambrose: Everybody who is somebody becomes nobody the moment they fail.

Amy Harmon, Making Faces
You can’t build walls and then be mad when no one wants to climb over them.
Sembreak Feels

Sembreak Feels

"And when I asked you how you’d been I meant I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything."

"And when I asked you how you’d been I meant I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything."

Things are sweeter when they’re lost. I know—because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly…And when I got it it turned to dust in my hands.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned  (via afroui)
I’m a very ordinary human being; I just happen to like reading books.
Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via quoted-books)